Uncertainty

There are uncertain things one can feel okay about. And then there are those that induce a month’s worth of anxiety in a day. House-hunting is definitely the latter.

You see, I moved from Bangalore to London only two weeks back. And in those two weeks, I have spent 10 days in mandatory isolation, trying to shortlist houses online, and seeing houses getting let out with amazing speed. In the four days since I got out of isolation, I have seen six houses, but have also seen three house viewings cancelled because someone made an offer that was accepted not more than a couple of hours before my appointment.

So as you can imagine, I sit today with an eye on Gmail and iMessage inboxes. Sleeping well enough only because I can rest in the knowledge that real estate agents (and indeed landlords) won’t really be making any move or communicating any decision overnight. Everything that you get paid for seems to happen only between 9 to 6. Such is work-life balance in lands outside India. But oh, this also is when I have to work.

I’ll be honest – just in case my therapist sees this and calls me out. But dealing with uncertainty hasn’t been my strongest suit. I used to think that I was better at dealing with uncertainty when the outcome affected me and me alone, but as this house-hunting experience reminds me, perhaps not.

Is there a point to this introspective blog post? I guess it’s my way of processing this uncertainty as I wake up at 5, a full hour earlier than usual. I remind myself that even it comes to worst, I have at least one friend who has graciously offered me to bunk at his place if I can’t find one before my company accommodation runs out. And if nothing else, there’s Airbnb. And my Mastercard.

And when I compare it to what folks are going through back home, it feels nothing at all.